Saturday, December 12, 2009

Lest anyone think that Tommy Long has lost his sense of humor or his, shall we say, drive, consider his response to a question this morning. It was when we were doing his morning relaxation exercise. This occurs while Tommy is still lying in bed, and it consists of me telling him to send a message from his mind's eye down to each part of his body; and the message is, "relax". We start with each arm; then the legs; then the bladder; then the intestines (aka what I call his "sh*t mine", which is to say that I ask him if he wants to tell the boys who are in there shoveling the sh*t for him if he has a message for them, to which he usually responds, "Yeah...thanks, boys; take five"); then his stomach; then the guys plucking on his vocal cords; and finally his schwaz. So this morning I asked him, "Do you have a message to send to your schwaz?" "Yeah," he said, lifting his head and looking down there. "Find a woman."